Lately I’ve taken refuge from the 24-7 horror show originating in the White House. Facebook’s newsfeed is one refuge but even more enthralling are the “reels” Zuckerberg has allowed. Recently, the enjoyment of reels has been compromised by the addition of advertisements, but those are easily clicked through to the next short take on whatever video someone has to offer.
Among the widely varied subject matter are the law enforcement videos of arrests. These are fascinating for a variety of reasons, but for me the most fascinating (and disturbing) are arrests where women are pulled over for something minor like a missing tail light, or something major like weaving all over the road or driving the wrong way in a one-way lane. In any case, many of these woman are intoxicated to the point that they have no rational control over their circumstances.
The results are shocking. Instead of doing what the officer asks and providing driver’s license, registration, and proof of insurance, she immediately launches into a loud, high-pitched, whiny voice to berate the officer and/or deny she’s done anything wrong, or otherwise refuse to address the matter at hand. After repeating the request multiple times and failing to secure a rational response, the officer asks the driver to step out of the car. Which of course she refuses with an even louder, shriller, repetitious, one-note tirade.
Then the situation spirals even further into chaos as the door is pulled open and the woman dragged out, still screaming her one-note hysteria. Wrestling, kicking, biting, and again refusing to LISTEN to anything being said, the woman then utterly humiliates herself as her clothing becomes skewed exposing various parts of her body while writhing on the ground. Ultimately there are charges not only for the initial problem—which could have been solved by simply following the officer’s requests—but also for refusing to identify herself, resisting, and assaulting a police officer among them.
As an aside, traffic stop drama runs somewhat parallel to Karen episodes where a woman charges into a situation that is NONE OF HER BUSINESS in an effort to correct what she sees as a wrong. In the process, she manages to gain the enmity of whichever neighbor/relative/business person is also involved and most often, the police are called because she is OUT OF CONTROL. I understand that perceived malfeasance/wrong actions can be frustrating, and I also understand the urge to correct wrongs. BUT it is not Karen’s job to do this. There are legitimate processes for determining the correct position of a property line, for example, or outlets through which to gain satisfaction for poor service or bad food or whatever has her panties in a twist. Have some effing dignity, for godssake!
Sisters!! Grow up! Shut up and listen, do what you’re told when dealing with officers of the law and other legitimate authorities. It’s not a genius level skill to simply deal with the situation at hand.
Women invite shame, ridicule, and condescending attitudes in general because we ask for it with our behavior. When faced with a mouse running across the floor, women scream. Why? What possible good does it do to scream? Either find a way to catch the mouse and toss it outside, or set traps. [Please not glue traps, which rip flesh off their feet or keep them in place until they died of starvation and thirst.] Same applies for rats, snakes, frogs/toads, and bugs. Meanwhile, shut up with the hysterical screaming already.
So while I’m excoriating my fellow women about absurd excesses, I’ll go ahead and jump in with all four feet: woman’s fashions. Apparently women lose all common sense in order to fit into some perceived fashion standard, which is probably set by a gay man somewhere in New York or Paris. [Not casting aspersions on gay men, but please.] For example, the current ‘fashion’ in women’s hair styles is for strands of hair to dangle into the face, over the eyes, thereby creating, I suppose, a tousled look which (one theorizes) appeals to men. While this might be functional and reasonable in bar or party setting where a woman might wish to appear ‘flirty,’ it is entirely ridiculous in a workplace or business setting.
Alongside the hair-in-eyes fashion, there are additional fashions that serve to signal ‘compromised.’ For example, tight skirts, again fine on an age-appropriate female in a social setting, but ridiculous when a person needs to WALK or perhaps RUN, or is in a location/situation where walking/running might be called for. The tight skirts serves as a hobble, making it impossible for a woman to out maneuver anyone trying to grab her.
Then there are the shoes. As if high heels aren’t enough, we now have high heels on top of platforms of an inch, three inches—you name it, they’re up there. Like other fashions mentioned above, these are signals that the woman wearing them is not capable of running, can easily fall even when simply walking, and is therefore suitable prey. This is, one supposes, meant to heighten her feminine appeal.
None of this is really new. We know about Chinese foot binding, basically crippling women for over a thousand years. We know about corsets, pulled tight in order to provide an hourglass figure and press the breasts upward and to reduce the woman’s breath to a whispery gasp while rendering her prone to delicate fainting spells. Platform shoes have been around several times as have tight skirts. [See https://www.collectorsweekly.com/articles/these-chopines-werent-made-for-walking/ and https://www.edwardianpromenade.com/beauty/the-hobble-skirt/] I’m waiting for full length gowns to make a comeback with several layers of fabric underneath, which not only shield the world from any view of legs but also make drowning likely if she happened to fall into water, with the added benefit for religionists to disguise any possible outline of legs or hips.
Can we, as women, PLEASE step back from these ongoing absurdities and question why we choose to present ourselves as physically compromised? Can we please think about function in how we dress or style our hair, so that our appearance serves our intellectual purposes? [This assumes we have purposes beyond falling down at men’s feet.] We need to stop dressing as though we are desperate for male attention or for ‘fashion’ approval. We need instead to present ourselves physically as we want to be known professionally, functionally, and respectfully.
Finally, can we ditch the little breathy high-pitched squeaky voice affectation and speak with authority? Thank you.
denelecampbell 